When You Can't Get Your Hair to Look Like "HERS"!

(The first two pictures are OBVIOUSLY not me - LOL, they are file photos taken from Google Image Search)

In the last year or so, since I started this natural journey, I have often become inspired and irritated both at the same time, by new hairstyles that I've discovered. I'll spend time searching the web for a really cute idea for my hair, particularly a protective style; find the one that I really like and study the technique to achieve the style; then gather up all the necessary tools and items to duplicate this style I just studied (*anticipation mounting*). I'll start out so excited, following all of the steps as closely as humanly possible, but soon thereafter the frustration begins to build as I discover that I just can't get my hair to do THAT! Either my hair is not long enough, TOO long in some cases, not the right curl pattern for some styles, too uneven in some instances or, the one that I hate the most, too freakin' THIN in the front! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!


Its taken me a little while to figure it out, but, because my hair is thinner and has a slightly looser curl pattern in the front, and because of the shape of my face, I have to modify a lot of the styles that I see to fit me, my head and my bone structure. I recently tried to duplicate a style that I found on You Tube that I thought was just sooo cute - I thought the You-tuber and I had similar hair texture and length so I figured it would look perfect on me. Fail, Fail MISERABLE FAIL!!! What looked super cute on her looked really stupid on me because my face is just too long and the hair in the front of my head is just too thin to wear all pulled back away from my face. I need to have some kind of distraction going on up at the front of my head- either a cute headband accessory, or a style with some volume or structure (a pomp, a flat twist, SOMETHING). I don't even like the way my hair looks parted down the middle, unless it's in a twist out style, framing my face with some height at the crown. Generally, though, I end up parting or styling the front of my hair to one side, no matter what's going on with the rest of my head.

I did have an epiphany just recently, though. Indeed, we're all here to help, inspire, encourage and offer support to one another. I would never have made it this far in my journey to natural hair without the Internet and the natural hair community. But, those ideas, advice and suggestions are not there for you or me to copy to be just like someone else. When I take other people's styles that just don't "work" for me and modify them to look right on my head, I oftentimes end up liking them better on me than the original style that I was trying to copy. I have that - "Hey, I just created my OWN style", moment. And that, my friends, is pretty cool and is what this whole natural journey is all about...discovering what works best for YOU -- no matter your hair-type, texture, thickness, (or lack thereof!) Just do you, boo;)

Ciao for now!
Visit my You Tube channel: "Over 40 Curly" www.youtube.com/user/pstaver1

My First Braid Out and Thoughts on Hair Length

Hi! I'm really enjoying my hair growth and length. It really is growing well. Still trying to eat well, get plenty of water and taking my vitamin supplements as well as handling my hair gently and mixing Olive and Hot Six oils with EVERYTHING! Seriously, though. I mixed oils into my daily water spritz and used it to moisturize my hair when it was seriously dry and knotted up at the ends (I had been wearing it in puffy bun styles). I sectioned the hair off and spritzed each section generously and started detangling first with my fingers and then with my wide-tooth comb and paddle brush and there was hardly any difficulty at all. Very few knots and tangles! I was so excited! No more fighting with a dry tangled mess of hair, and I can detangle my hair dry without loading it up with conditioner (although, that does help ;)

So, I decided to be brave and do a braid out for Easter. I didn't use any rollers at the ends as I've done in the past with my TnCs. It turned out alright, I just have to get used to the ends being straight instead of curly. I need to practice a little more but overall I was pretty pleased. I used shea butter and did 4 big french braids going back. I did a flat twist at the very front going towards my right ear. See the results above pics ;)

I'm also super excited that my hair is long enough now to do this cute little puffy bun look in the back. (See very first pic at the top) I achieve this look best when my hair has been stretched by flat-twisting or braiding the night before.

I'm pretty much completely natural now. No more relaxed ends in the back, on the sides or in the front. Just a little, about 1/2 to 1 inch of relaxed ends left at the crown of my head. I'm trying to hold off until July before I cutthat all off, but, I don't know if I'll make it. We'll see.

I've been thinking a lot lately about hair length. I thought I went on this journey wanting my hair to be crazy long - like a lot of natural you tubers out there. But, now that my hair is growing and becoming more and more healthy, and I'm able to do more styles that I like, I don't know now that my goal is for my hair to be super long. I'm enjoying it as it is right now. I can wear it out, I can "bun" it, I can make a puffy bun look with or without a banana clip in the back. I don't think I'm all that in love with the idea of my hair being terribly long anymore. I'm really liking it for where and what it is right now which is about collar bone length on the side and in the back when stretched. In the front it's about nose-tip length when streteched. I'd like for the front to get a little longer so it'll be even with the rest of my hair but other than that, I don't feel the need for my hair to grow down to my butt, LOL! If it does fine, if it doesn't, I'm o.k. with that too. It's just not my focus anymore. Originally, I wanted my natural hair to grow out to the length that my relaxed hair was when I started this journey. I believe that I've surpassed that goal already so, I'll just continue to treat it well, protect it, etc. do all the things I'm doing now, chop the final relaxed ends off by July, and be happy with how it is in the present instead of focusing on and living for the future and wishing for my hair to grow down past my knees ;)

Check out my video on my thoughts about hair length on my YouTube Channel @ www.youtube.com/user/pstaver1 or view it below.

What are your thoughts? What are your hair goals? Weigh in!!!

Ciao for now :)

Curly Nikki Feature and Co-Washing

Hi All! I am so happy that I was recently featured on the Curly Nikki website! It was really cool and I got so much love and support from the natural community! Thank you, Curly Nikki ;) You can check it out here: http://www.curlynikki.com/2011/04/on-couch-with-pamela-40-and-natural.html#comments/2011/04/on-couch-with-pamela-40-and-natural.html#comments.

In other news, I co-washed my hair on Saturday, And I loved the results. I'm really trying to limit the products that I use and just stick with what my hair loves. I first spritzed my hair with water, olive oil and aloe vera juice to get it damp and help with some slip. I then applied my conditioner - Hello Hydration, Suave's Humectus and Coconut conditioners mixed with more olive oil. I detangled in sections with this mixture - which was SOOO easy because of the slip, and twisted each section up. I then covered it with a plastic conditioner baggy and my "beanie" cap and ran around with my daughter all day (she had a track meet and a school choir performance back-to-back!). Mind you, I started this process around 10 am and after running all around with my daughter I didn't get home until after 5 pm so, I was deep conditioning for about 7 hours! I don't ususally do that, 20-30 minutes is enough for me, but I didn't have much of a choice this day - LOL!

Anyway, I rinsed the twists out in the shower and then applied my leave-in. This time, instead of using the Kinky Curly Knot Today, I used Giovanni's Leave-In (like I said, I'm trying to use up product and I had just enough of this left to make my leave-in mixture), olive oil, jojoba oil and aloe vera juice. I then applied this to my hair in the twisted sections that i had done earlier and retwisted. I separated the sections into smaller sections to get more twists. I then made one big flat twist in the front going to the side and pinned the other twists up in the back. I like it. It will work as my protective style for the next week or two. I'll just redo the twists in the front if they start to get fuzzy and spritz daily with my water/oil mix. I also sleep in my satin bonnet with this style. In the mornings I set the style with a satin scarf or stocking cap for about 20 minutes while i get ready for work. This helps to make the style look neat and less fuzzy.

Check out updates and pictures on my Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/user/pstaver1?feature=mhum

Ciao for Now!

Quick Update and Length Check Pics

My hair and I are doing well, it is growing and thriving! Scaling back my products and taming my PJ-ism. I've been using nothing but my Kimmaytube leave-in as my leave-in condish and to do my twists, HEHH and ORS Creamy Olive Oil Shampoo for wash day and sprtizing my twists with my EVOO, Hot Six Oil, Aloe Vera Juice and Water mixture at least once a day. Keeping my hair in protective styles weekly (two strand twist styles), and I think my hair has grown almost a full inch since the beginning of February! (YAY!)

I also have been buying the fresh salad in a bag, and plan to try to eat a good salad at least once a day and walk at lunchtime when it's nice out! Also started taking Nature's Bounty Hair, Skin and Nails vitamins. It has 3,000 mcgs of Biotin per serving. Just started taking those about a week ago. We'll see how they do.

Well, that's about it. Check out my new Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/pstaver1

Ciao for now!

FINALLY!

I finally figured out how to get a decent twist out!

I dry detangled my hair last night using KCKT and a little of the Design Essentials Stretching Creme that my cousin gave me. I didn't like the DE the first time I tried it because I thought it felt really tacky, but used sparingly and combined with the KCKT, it's pretty decent.

My hair was already pretty stretched from having it in braids a few days ago and then wearing it in the "tuck and roll" style for a couple more days. The key for a good twist out on me, is to do it dry, after it's stretched out. Also, FLAT two strand twists. Not just twists. flat twists get to the roots better and create a wave all throughout my hair, not just the middle to the ends like just two strand twisting. I LOVE it. And I did a center part instead of a side part. I will still do the two strand twists and roll occassionally if I want a tighter curl or a more frizzy "fro" type style, but for my twist out, the flat twists are the way to go.

I did two rows of 4 flat twists in the back and 3 - 4 on each side of my head with the ones in the front framing both sides of my face. I also rolled the ends of the twists that still have a bit of perm on the ends, with sponge rollers that I removed the sponges from and just used the frame of the rollers. I just rolled the very ends, not all the way up to my scalp, this was to allow the hair to hang a little bit. I then tied my silk scarf on with my twists hanging down, under the scarf, and put on my satin bonnet.

When I woke up this morning, I carefully took down the twists with my hands coated with oil, fluffed and styled a litte bit (not too much) and Voila! Next time, I might do two rows of 4 twists in the back and one more row closer to the the crown of my head to give it a little more "lift" but I am truly loving this twist out! I'm going to need to have hubby take some pics tonight so I can post them because I'm going to wash my hair tonight and put it's back to the braids and protective twists style for next week. I may try to wear my hair out in this twist out, though, once a week. SO HAPPY ;)

Ciao for now!

I'm On Naturallycurly.com!

Hey, Just a quick update and some pics. I am now taking part in the Kim Cole/CurlyNikki Natural Hair Grow Out Challenge. It started in February and ends in July. The challenge is as follows:

*Drink at least 64 oz of water each day (or half your body weight in ounces)

*Eat a healthy, balanced diet

*Take a multi vitamin and other beneficial supplements

*Handle hair gently at all times

*Seal your ends every time you moisturize

*Minimize (direct) heat usage

*Deep treatment at every wash session

*Develop and follow a consistent hair routine, tailored to your specific needs and desired goals

*Document your progress, observations, and frustrations on your personal blog (On the Naturallycurlly.com website)

*Encourage your fellow curlies by sharing tips, advice, and chimin on their blogs

*Have fun and enjoy the journey

So, I started my blog on their site, per the requirements and I'm well on my way! Check it out when you get a chance. It's listed here: www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/view_blog/kim-coles-grow-out-challenge/1090

Any-whoo, I thought I share some current pics (Done just this weekend) of my new favorite protective style and current length. I'm very please with my progress ;)

I also believe that I'm going to change the focus of my "hair mission" from not just my own hair progress and challenges but I'd like to specifically target challenges for the curly over 40. There are many blogs and vloggers out there who are younger and don't have to deal with the same challenges that us older curlies have to. (yet, lol) for instance:

-Dealing with thinning hair and how to style accordingly

-Workplace/professional styles (there are a lot of cute curly styles out there, but some I just don't think are apropriate for many older ladies. Don't get me wrong, I like to rock the wild big hair, but in some situations and venues it's not appropriate for the more mature curly. I'd like to see more styles and tips geared toward the more mature ladyI'd like to start a forum for us.

-Dealing with gray-ing, natural hair

These are just a couple of thoughts for my focus. If you can think of anymore, let me know. And if you'd like to start up a dialog, let me know that as well. Fell free to post, comment your thoughts, etc. on either this blog or my Naturallycurly blog!

Oh, and here is some random texture pic thrown in. (I had just taken my twists down, my hair was dry and I hadn't even attempted to style it yet so its looking pretty "raw" LOL!) I still can't figure out my texture. I know I'm definitel a 4b/c, but in these shots it looks like there may also be a little 4a in there. Tell me what you think?

Ciao for now!!

Hair is Growing!

O.K. Over the last 3 months since my surgery, my hair is really growing. I think I've really figured out the key to my hair! Low manipulation, protective styling, gentle handling and keeping it stretched. (pictured is me at my sister's graduation with my nephew and my "braid-out" half wig ;)

As much as I try, I don't like shampooing in the shower. It just makes me rush through my routine because my hot water starts to run out before I finish my detangling - retwisting! So, I'm going to stick with the following routine. It works best for me and my hair seems to cooperate better this way. Maybe, as my hair grows longer (shoulder length and more), I'll revisit the wash in the shower:

1). Dry detangle with fingers using melted EVOO and Coconut oil. Braid into sections (6-12) with oil mixture. (twist ends instead of braiding so it will be easier to unravel braids).

2). Spritz with Water and baggy for at least 20 minutes (pre-poo)

3). Mix shampoo mixture of EVOO and Jojoba oil or Hot six oil (whatever oils on hand), Condish - Humectant/HEHH, or Suave Coconut, etc. and Creamy Olive Oil shampoo (small dollop).

4).Apply mixture to scalp, massage in. Rinse (in the sink or lean head into shower using shower head attachment)

5). Unbraid section at a time, apply KCKT leave-in (or whatever leave in you're using at the time, Cantu Shea butter leave in, Kimmaytube's leave-in mixture, Giovonni's leave in, KCKT preferred. Make sure whatever you use has lots of slip for detangling).

6). Detangle individual sections with wide-tooth shower comb first then follow up with Denman or paddle brush.

8).2 strand twist each section to stretch. Be sure to put "kitchen" area hair at the nape of the neck either in a single, horizontal flat twist or 4-8 small 2strand twists to protect and grow.

9). Don satin cap and go to sleep ;)

10). Next day, pin up twists or wear twists under wig or half wig as a protective style.

DAY TWO - NEXT EVENING

1). Flat twist into favorite protective style (see, "Simply Younique" video), wear in this style or cover this style with wig or half wig for protective styling. Use some kind of styling cream or oil to for twists, use shea butter or some kind of oil to seal ends.

2). Repeat routine weekly.

3). Daily, if protective styling, spritz hair with water/oil (Aloe Vera Juice) spritz and Hot Six Oil spritz.

ALTERNATE STYLE - Dry braid sections to stretch for a braid-out. Use some kind of styling cream or oil for twists, use shea butter or some kind of oil to seal ends. (braid hair sections but twists ends for reasons stated above. Flexi - rod permed, stringy ends but let braids "hang"). - Refer to braid out tutorial by "Pretty Dimples" for step by step instructions.

This will be my routine for the remainder of winter. We'll see how much longer my hair grows in the next few months ;)

Maintain braid out for a week by re-braiding each night in big braids. flexi-rod permed, stringy ends.

Products in my current rotation that I love (and I'm at the point now where I don't care if they have "cones" or any other so-called "bad" products. As long as it doesn't damage my hair and produces good results - except for mineral oil or petroleum. I still try to stay away from this if at all possible. I don't like how they make my hair feel:

EVOO, Jojoba oil, Kinky Curly Knot Today leave-in, Suave Coconut Condish or Suave Humectant, HEHH condish, Pantene R&N Hair Mask, Hot Six Oil, Root Stimulator Cream Olive Oil Shampoo, Aloe Vera Juice, Shea butter, Ecco Styler Gel, B&B Oil Moisturizer.

Ciao for now!