So, I've learned a few more things since my last post. The less I pull and tug at my hair the better. When I take down my TnC, I've been really tugging and "fluffing" at my hair to stretch it and make it look longer, especially in the back where I think it is most delicate. I have 4b hair. I'm no 3a or 3b or really even a 4a (maybe 4a a little in the front). My hair is not going to look like this (see pic at right) It looks like and wants to be this: (see pics below) That is to say, it is not "hangy-downy" hair - LOL. At least not at the length it is now anyway, if ever. My hair doesn't grow down. it grows up and OUT! and the more I try to coax it into something that it's not, the more frustrated I get and dissappointed in the mornings with how it looks. Occassionally I get it to have that length look in the front, but the more my natural hair grows in and my permed ends phase out, the more shrinkage I'm getting. My hair is growing but doesn't look longer (and it seems to be growing very healthy and thick thanks to my treating it more gently and taking Biotin supplements. These supplements help support hair health and growth and I think it's working). But, it's not going to look longer because it's too dense and tight. It's also not going to have a super-defined curl pattern. Well, it will if I use some serious styling products and styling utensils (hard rollers) and techniques. But, I can't sleep on hard rollers and I'm becoming more and more o.k. with my FRO. I am definitely a FRO girl. I might try the more stretched styles every once in a while but, for the most part I'm going to work this fro. I'm going to keep it healthy and make it as BIG as possible - LOL because that's how my hair is...not long, BIG!
I just need to treat it with loving kindness. As much as I appreciate and love the "Curly Nikki" website, my hair is not going to look like hers. It looks like mine. And I have to use products and styling techniques that work for me. For instance, I can't do that fluff and "running your fingers through your hair from roots to ends" thing that she does after a take down. My hair's too thick and dense for that and it gets all frizzy. That's also why I can't hold my style/curls for longer than a day or so. TOO MUCH MANIPULATION. This week, I did a wet twist n curl, with my water/oil mixture, sealed with shea butter and spritzed a little Deva Care Set It Free on each twist after rolling twists TO THE SCALP (no more of that loose, hanging rolling). In the morning I took it down and just carefully massaged my scalp to blend the lines (especially in the back) and split the twists into 3,4 or even 5s for volume and style. It wasn't as big and "stretched" but I tell you what, I'm into day 4 and I still have some curl and it doesn't look all fried and frizzy. I'm really liking this and liking getting to know what my hair likes. And, my hair likes, low manipulation, water, shea butter, condish and it likes being a FRO!
I like this quote from the Curly Nikki site interview (unfortuntely, I don't remember the person's name but I'll find it and post it):
"If something doesn't work...ditch it right away! Be patient with your hair and let it tell you what it needs. Try not to get caught up in curl patterns and length(itallics added by me) There will be some days when you are a hot mess but don't be discouraged! Keep trying to find what works for you. Oh and take lots of pictures!! For my transitioning divas, don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing a BC because it "changed their life", do what works for you! I'm totally all about short hair but if you are not, that's ok. Your happiness is always more important. Find as much information as you can about how to transition properly so that you don't get a lot of breakage."
On my next post, I'll talk about all the new styles I'm learning to do with accessories. Love it!!
Ciao for now!